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Surveillance
Self-Defense

Online Privacy for Parents and Youth

Last Reviewed: October 21, 2026

Deciding how to help youth use the internet—including engaging with video games, social media, web search, and everything else—is a complicated topic that touches on many different skillsets and ideas. But ultimately, it is up to families to decide when and how to engage with these sorts of questions. 

Each young person has unique developmental needs, and, just like their wardrobe, that changes as they age. What's right for one person may not be for another. Trying to protect your family from everything all the time is impractical and exhausting, but some thoughtful planning can help you find the best, most efficient solutions. 

Solutions are not necessarily about just the tools or software you use. It’s about understanding the threats and concerns you have, and then determining what steps you can take to mitigate those risks. In security, we call this process security planning (or threat modeling), and it’s as applicable in deciding how to manage the privacy and security of youth as it is for adults. 

This guide is meant to be an introduction to thinking about how to help parents and youth engage with technology in a safe and privacy-protective way. It is not a toolkit for deciding how much screentime to manage, when to introduce youth to devices or the internet at large, or about what games or social media is acceptable. 

Table of Contents

Figuring Out How to Think About Technology

With online security, it’s impossible to protect everything all the time. Instead, it’s best to decide what is valuable to you and focus on that. The same process we use to figure out what matters in security can be useful when deciding how to integrate different technologies into your family. We can take our security plan and apply it here, with this set of questions:

  • What do I want to protect?
  • Who do I want to protect it from?
  • How bad are the consequences if I fail?
  • How likely is it that I will need to protect it?
  • How much trouble am I willing to go through to try to prevent potential consequences?
  • Who are my allies?

Take some time and answer the questions for your family. Let’s run through an example:

What do I want to protect?
Typically when we talk about security, we talk about “assets ” here, but it makes more sense to think about how youth use various platforms, and what those platforms are. Make a list of devices in the house, and the apps and services everyone uses. Take some time to get this right; it should be more specific than “I want to protect a young person.”

Example: I want to protect a young person’s privacy and mental health when they’re playing Roblox. They love Roblox and use it to communicate and hang out with their best friend, so we’d like to find a way to make it as safe as possible.

Who do I want to protect it from?
To answer this, it’s useful to think through and identify who or what a young person might interact with online. What are we trying to protect them from? Potential adversaries can be ad tech companies, bullies, strangers online, or the government.

Example: Messages from strangers, staying up too late playing, wasting money on pointless digital junk in games.

How bad are the consequences if I fail?
Depending on the platform and the device, there are many ways youth might interact with the threats you identified above. What could happen if they did? Understanding this can help you prioritize what’s important and within your control.

Example: Varies from losing some money on a useless cosmetic item or scam, to having creepy conversations with strangers that could escalate into something more nefarious or dangerous.

How likely is it that I will need to protect it?
Risk is the likelihood that a threat will actually happen. It is important to distinguish between what might happen and the probability it may happen. Assessing risks is both a personal and a subjective process. 

Example: I don’t know the likelihood of a stranger messaging on Roblox because I’m not sure how communication works on the platform, but I’ve heard from their friends that strangers message them all the time in some games.

How much trouble am I willing to go through to try to prevent potential consequences?
There is no perfect option for privacy and security online. You will need to decide how much effort you’re willing to go through to protect what you’re concerned about. In the case of youth and tech, this can include taking a significant amount of time to learn exactly how a product—like a game or app—works.

Example: I’m willing to sit down and learn how the game works, then spend the time figuring out how to work the parental controls.

Who are my allies?
Parenting, just like digital privacy and security, is a collective effort. This is especially true when thinking through how youth interact with the internet, technology, and their friends and families through various online platforms. 

Example: My partner, our parents, as well as a young person’s best friends and their parents.

With these questions, you can start to focus on what’s important for your family, which can then lead to figuring out what steps to take to best achieve those goals. If you try to tackle every possible worry you might have about the internet as a whole, it will be overwhelming! 

It’s important to reassess and adapt to these questions over time. The concerns you have for a five year old are not the same as an eight year old, a 12 year old, or a 17 year old. This is an ongoing discussion, and one you should revisit frequently to review apps and settings and address whether anything needs changing. The good news is that it’s also a good way to build trust with a young person, so they are more likely to come to you when anything weird happens on a platform.

Example Questions to Help Decide What Tools and Interactions Youth Are Ready For

Which software, devices, and tools youth access is a conversation best managed between parent and child. These conversations will always differ between families, but here are some questions to ask yourself to help get those conversations started:

  • Does a young person understand what we mean by “private information” and what to not share with strangers versus friends and family?
  • How well does a young person understand the difference between humans and AI chatbots?
  • Do they have a hard time with boundaries at school or other social situations?
  • Do they feel empowered to say when they are uncomfortable?
  • Can they clearly communicate their feelings?
  • Am I prepared to learn about how a specific technology works so that I can help my child use it safely? 
  • Does my child understand that people online may not be who they claim to be? 
  • Is my child ready to communicate with strangers or should communication be limited to family members?
  • Can my child follow family screen time rules without constant reminders? 
  • What safety features and privacy controls does this tool offer? 
  • What potential risks can this tool create and are we equipped to mitigate them? 
  • What is a young person most interested in doing online? For example: gaming, social media etc.?

Developing Media Literacy Together

There is no tool or technology fix that can substitute for spending time learning, and then teaching a young person, how the internet works, how to use it, what sorts of harms exist, and how to navigate those harms. 

While time-consuming, it is helpful to learn how the apps, games, and services a young person wants to use actually work. For example, games like Minecraft might seem complicated because Minecraft is as much a social space for youth as it is a place to play the game. Spending some time with it yourself will help you understand what your real concerns are. The same goes with anything else online.

These decision points where you’re exploring with a young person what you’re both comfortable with can be good moments to “find your way to a yes” for whatever feature or tool or game they’re asking about. The questions they ask, along with your responses, provide a road map for what to look for in privacy controls that can get you to a place where everyone is comfortable engaging with that technology. 

Example: How to Have a Conversation About Online Privacy

Let’s think about how the above applies to a conversation around online privacy. A good place to start is an assessment of what you have already done as a parent/guardian.

Before a conversation:

  • What privacy and safety guidelines have you already discussed with your family about real life interactions? If you have not had that discussion yet, this could be a good time to start.
  • How do you align your feelings about their online safety with what you have already been teaching?
  • What emotions/habits have you observed when a young person is watching/gaming/etc? 
  • What is your own use of technology? What do you run into online that makes you anxious or bothers you? 
  • What situations have you struggled with in the past or were unsure how to handle online? How does this inform what sorts of conversations you’d like to have with a young person?

The conversation:

As for conversation starters, you know best how to initiate a more formal conversation. However, sometimes breaking the ice can be more indirect and start more with a joint experience, instead of prodding a young person for information about what they have been doing with technology on their own time. For example:

  • Ask them if you can watch them play a game or play a two-player game with them.
  • Share examples of issues you’ve encountered online or mistakes you’ve made and explain what you’ve learned.
  • Tell them interesting things you saw on your phone or share a spam message with them and describe why you didn’t reply.
  • Watch an episode of their favorite show and discuss the content afterwards.

For a more direct approach, here are some examples for conversation starters:

  • What do you like most about being online?
  • What makes an online space feel safe and welcoming to you?
  • How can you spot someone online who isn’t who they say they are?
  • If you made a mistake online, who would you feel comfortable talking to about it?
  • What would help you ask for help if something online felt wrong?
  • How do you know if something online is true?

These sorts of ongoing conversations form the bedrock of digital privacy, security, and literacy regardless of age. They provide both parents and youth the tools for interacting with the internet safely and securely, and help establish best practices and norms for a lifetime of engaging with the internet.

What Parental Controls Can (and Cannot) Do

Parental controls are a set of configuration tools that affect how a device, app, game, or service can be used. Parental controls may be a useful tool for some families, but they are not a substitute for teaching youth how to navigate the internet, assessing the quality of the content they encounter, or helping them develop personal boundaries and digital agency. 

Below, we detail examples of the types of controls available to parents, but it is important to balance the use of parental controls with other strategies that allow for skill development and autonomy.

Parental controls can function at several distinct levels. The router level is the devices in your home that connect your computer, phones, or game consoles to the internet. There’s also the levels of an operating system (like iOS and Android), a platform (like a Nintendo Switch or PlayStation), or a specific service, game, or app (like YouTube, Roblox, Fortnite, or Spotify). Some families may consider setting up parental controls on multiple levels. Directions for doing so on several platforms are linked below. 

If you choose to implement parental controls, it is good to reassess them frequently. Some apps, like Roblox, will alert you when a young person hits an age milestone where they can access new features, but this is a rare feature. 

It is useful to think of these controls as ongoing conversation starters, not as set-it-and-forget-it safety tools. When a child hits a barrier set by these controls, whether it’s an app they want to download, or a game they want to play for a few minutes longer, it can be a good time to talk about what their needs and wants are, instead of just shutting down the conversation. As a parent, it is an opportunity to investigate what you’re saying “no” to, and why. You may be exhausted or having a rough day, in which case a “No, for now” might be the only option. Just be sure to return to the conversation when you can. 

It’s also good to remember that youth are good at finding ways around these tools. They trade tricks with their friends to circumvent the controls, and typically access the internet from a variety of places outside your view, like at school or a friend’s house. This is why teaching digital literacy is a far better approach to managing the privacy and security of youth online.

Content monitoring—where you’re given a play-by-play of every website a young person visits or conversation they have—can quickly become problematic, especially as they age. The conversations above around boundaries and digital literacy are a more effective way to prepare youth for accessing the internet. To develop true autonomy, young people need the privacy to discover the world for themselves without their parents monitoring the contents of every conversation they have.

Ultimately, finding the right balance is a case-by-case process rooted in mutual trust and open communication. When young people feel supported rather than closely monitored, they are much more empowered to speak up about any concerning conversations on their own.

Parental Controls at the Router Level

Many routers offer an option to turn on “content filters.” With content filters, you can set different restrictions and filters, which block access to websites known to host certain types of content, usually in broad categories, like “adult sites” or “gambling.” Less editorially, “content blockers” can block known malicious websites for security reasons, and some routers or other network-wide tools offer options to block ads. 

When content filters are set at the router level, they attempt to block access to websites on any device you want that’s connected to your home network, like one person’s PC and another person’s tablet. They will have no effect on devices not connected to your home network, like a phone with a cellular plan that’s not currently connected to Wi-Fi. Some routers may also claim they can block devices on a network from accessing the internet at certain times, but most modern devices use randomized MAC addresses, which makes it nearly impossible to keep track of which device is which for this purpose. Many routers also charge a monthly subscription fee for these features, adding additional costs.

Content filters might seem at first like a useful way to prevent youth from accidentally accessing certain content online. But no matter how strictly you set content filters, you will never be able to protect against all related content on the internet. These types of filters also tend to be very broad, often restricting material youth are mature enough to view—such as critical information on identity, support resources, or LGBTQ+ topics. As young people age, these restrictions could become less appropriate and may restrict content they are mature enough to view.

Crucially, although many families use these tools in good faith, some parents use them to control their children rather than support their healthy development.

Device and Operating System Level Parental Controls

Next we have parental controls that operate on the device or operating system-level. This means devices like an iPad, laptop, or video game console that come with software that provides certain types of controls. Like content filtering at the router level, these are controls that youth can often find ways around, and which do not catch everything, so do not think of them as a complete solution to your family’s concerns.

Parental controls tend to work one of two ways at this level. Some controls allow you to manage the accounts from your personal device. For example, if everyone in the household has Android phones and tablets, you can manage the controls from your personal Android phone. You can set other controls on the device themselves and use a PIN or password to restrict content. This could be a family of Android users who happen to own and share one single iPad. You may need to search online for configurations to your particular devices, though we have included some links below.

Some examples of features you may find in parental controls:

  • Manage screen time: This option typically allows you to control how long a device can be used for overall, or allot time for specific apps or games, like “30 minutes of YouTube a day.”
  • Disable purchases (including in-app/in-game purchases): You can lock down any device so accidental purchases are less likely. Many games and apps have “in-app” purchases, where you can buy extra features or outfits for characters. These purchases are easy to make by accident, so it can be a good idea to have a discussion with a young person about the limits that you set.
  • Lock down who can contact whom: Most parental controls allow you to set limits on who a young person can contact via voice, video, or chat, but you may have to think about this on several levels. For example, if your child has an iPhone and uses it to communicate with friends and family on WhatsApp, while also playing Roblox, that’s three places in the system settings where you need to adjust the controls to limit contacts: the iPhone, WhatsApp, and Roblox.
  • Restrict access to certain content or websites in some apps: Parental controls on a device like an iPhone or Android can set limits on the sorts of websites the default browsers can visit (Safari for iPhone and Google for Android), and they can limit access to app downloads from the official app stores. 
  • Device location tracking: Parental controls for mobile devices often have a way to track the geolocation of the device (and thus of the person who uses the device). If you choose to enable this tracking, consider having a conversation about why you’re doing so, and when you’ll turn it off as they age.

Here are links for setup guides on some of the most popular devices:

After all of this, you may find yourself wishing for a one-step solution—and there are tons of apps out there that take advantage of busy parents who feel overwhelmed by marketing tools that claim to scan everything their child does on a device, ranging from reading their emails and social media profiles, to monitoring their web searches. But research shows that many third-party apps—software you’d have to go out of your way to purchase and install—have deeper access to personal data than many users expect, lax security policies, and the potential for unethical surveillance. It's worth it to do your own legwork. 

Service, App, and Game Level Parental Controls

Once you have the parental controls set up on a device or operating system, you may also consider digging into specific apps or services. This is because the device level tends to only set limits on new downloads and restrict some web browsing or access to certain features in the operating system itself (like a voice assistant on a tablet or smartphone). These restrictions can’t always reach inside an app and control what happens once it’s opened. 

In most cases, parental controls in specific apps and games will allow you to set limits on or disable chat (like who a young person can talk to, or who can message them), set some guardrails on some types of content, and set time limits for usage.  

There are countless apps and games out there, but here are setup guides for parental controls on some of the most popular. Most of these will require that you create your own account, then manage a young person’s access from there:

Keep in mind that many young people also watch other people play games on streaming services like Twitch or YouTube, so even if you set up barriers across their devices or in apps, they may still encounter the content of those games in other ways. This is an example of why education and digital literacy is a stronger starting point than trying to lock down one device.

Depending on their age, it may also be worth setting up youth profiles on streaming video services. Paired with a PIN for adult profiles, this sometimes can help put some guardrails on what shows and movies youth can choose. Here are links to some of the more popular streaming options:

Technical Fixes: Small Tasks, Big Impacts

The best way to help protect youth is to take a lot of the same steps you should consider to protect yourself. This can include blocking creepy online trackers from using your browsing history or location information to sell ads, or changing the default behavior on apps or services so they aren’t as distracting. This can be a daunting task, but as a bonus, you’ll also have a much better idea about how the apps work.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but is meant as a way to familiarize yourself with the variety of options out there to help you brainstorm other small changes that can have a big impact on youth privacy.

Quick Tasks that Take Just a Couple Minutes

  • Install Privacy Badger: EFF’s Privacy Badger browser extension stops advertisers and other third-parties from secretly tracking where you go and what pages you look at on the web. By blocking online trackers, parents and youth can protect themselves from manipulative ads and limit the personal data fueling social media algorithms. 
  • Prevent advertising tracking on devices: iPhones and Android devices come with an “ad identifier”—a number that easily enables advertisers and data brokers to track youth between apps on their devices. These companies build profiles about your app and browsing behavior to sell ads. Youth accounts under 13 won’t have this ad identifier, but between 13-17 they will. Thankfully, you can disable this tracking number. Here are directions for doing so on iPhone and Android.
  • Review privacy permissions: Almost every app on a phone will ask for some set of privacy “permissions” when it’s first opened up. This can include access to the photo roll, camera, location, and much more. You should be cautious of these permissions and deny them if they ever seem to overreach, especially something like access to location, which is rarely required for functionality. For managed devices, here are directions for doing this through Apple’s Screen Time or the Family Link app on Android.
  • Review a device’s AI settings: Many consumer devices, like iPhones and iPads, Android devices, Windows laptops, and more, have some sort of AI features built into them. Getting rid of or blocking these tools is a bit like whack-a-mole, but, alongside discussions about responsible usage, you can control how some of these tools work on a device level. Here is some guidance for optional settings.
  • Disable autoplay: Autoplay is the feature where video platforms automatically play more content after the current video ends. If you do not like this feature, most streaming services allow you to disable it. Here are directions for YouTube, Disney Plus, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Paramount, Netflix, HBO, Apple TV.
  • Manage notifications: Most devices have numerous ways to manage notifications, ranging from completely turning them off to setting up profiles so they don’t send alerts at specific times (aka bedtime modes). If you’re concerned about when and what notifications arrive on a device, you can usually do something about it. Here are instructions for Apple and Android.
  • Wrangle YouTube annoyances with filter lists: YouTube is often cited as a concern amongst parents and youth. Thankfully, there are some things you can do to make the experience smoother using a browser, an ad blocker, and filter lists. With filter lists—which are essentially text files that edit the cosmetics or user experience of websites—you can customize the YouTube user interface and experience to remove things like mobile distractions, thumbnail images, Shorts, and next up videos. Some browsers, like Brave, have these filters built in, where you just need to open a menu screen and check the box next to any feature you’d like removed.

Larger Tasks for Parents Comfortable with Technology

  • Start a family password manager : A password manager is software that creates and stores unique and complex passwords, so you don’t have to remember them. This helps you maintain privacy and security online by ensuring your password is always hard to guess and unique. Unique passwords are also important because companies suffer data breaches all the time that often include user passwords. If your password is in a breach and you use the same password everywhere, that might give bad actors access to your other accounts. Password managers are just good practice for everyone for digital security. They’re also helpful for families because you can set up shared accounts, where family passwords and logins all live in one place (for services you share, like streaming services).
  • Build your own media system: Paying for a bunch of streaming services that constantly rotate their content or that are filled with low quality shows can get aggravating, but if you’re comfortable, you can take back some of that control by setting up your own media server with your own content that you own. You’ll usually need at least a spare computer and some extra time to do this, but you can then use software like Jellyfin or Plex to share your own media library across devices.
  • Do it yourself ad block, website blocking, and more: If you have a lot of different types of devices in your house that connect to the internet, like smart TVs, video game consoles, tablets, and laptops, then you might consider something like a Pi-Hole. A Pi-hole is a DIY project that runs on affordable hardware, like a Raspberry Pi, and can block ads and trackers on a network level—so any devices on your home network—and can outright block some websites as well.

Decide How to Handle School Devices and Software Outside Your Control

You may have less control over devices issued by a school, software that’s required on those school-issued devices, or software that’s required on your family’s devices to use a school service, like daycare apps. But it’s still worth spending the time learning what they do and potentially pushing back on anything you believe is too surveillance-heavy or privacy invasive.

You often do not have a choice about whether you or a young person use this software. For devices issued by the school, like a Chromebook, consider it a spying tool. Teach young people to avoid using them to log into personal accounts or for any other personal use, whenever possible. 

If you want to know more about what tools your school uses, ask them! You may also file public records requests for your specific school to learn more about how the software works. Then you can work with other parents to decide whether you want to push for the school to use different software, different privacy settings, or opt out of monitoring software altogether. For more guidance on what approaches to take, see our guide for the student monitoring software, GoGuardian.

Other Resources

There is no one-size fits all solution to the tech questions and concerns a parent will face. It is also an ever changing landscape of technologies, terms, and uses. With that in mind, here are some external sources you may find useful. EFF does not vouch for any of the specifics in these approaches.